3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
