In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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