afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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