yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
