For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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