ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
