I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
