I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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