Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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