was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
