Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
