I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
