I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
