Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
