Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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