the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
