Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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