you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
