tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
