Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
