I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
