Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
