The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
