Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
