You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
