Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
