Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
