I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
