he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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