hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
