I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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