he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
