hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize