don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she looked like the before picture.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
