I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
