You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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