you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
