I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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