We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
