i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize