i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
