Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I could fuck to npr.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
