9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
