And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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