Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
