i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
