You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
