i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
