it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
