I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
