whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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