i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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