I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
