I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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