If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh god it's open bar.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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