Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
