my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
