A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She's the barista slut.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
50% drunk capacity currently
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
