I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
