You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
