The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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