i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
